Ever since I was able to conceptualize the future, I knew that I wanted to make a difference in this world. I felt that that the most straightforward way to do this was through my career and the type of professional I hoped to become. This is why my career has always been my top priority; it is the means by which I hope to achieve my most important life goal. When I came to the mining industry, I wasn’t confident that I would be capable of making a difference. Well – I suppose lots has changed, hasn’t it?
Today marks my last day at Macassa. My tenure here has been a bit shorter than I had anticipated, although it has ended under the best circumstances possible. I have only been here full-time for two years which is an approximate 8% of my entire life so far, but I have grown more in a professional and personal sense during this period of time than any other period of my life. So, today I’m here to write about my time at Macassa: my house of gold.
~ Starbucks, May 2020 ~
About a week before I moved to Kirkland Lake in May 2020, I drove to Starbucks with my Dad. It was a short outing that would often brighten up my day during an unprecedented period of quarantine. I got a half-sweet toffee nut latte made with oat milk, which is my longtime comfort drink. My Dad usually gets an iced coffee made half-sweet and with nonfat milk, if you ever need to know. I remember a moment during the drive back home when I expressed some feelings I had been struggling with for a while regarding this job at Kirkland Lake Gold. I felt convinced that I didn’t deserve it; I told my Dad that I dreaded the day when management would inevitably find out that I didn’t know anything at all. I had a little cry about this and my dad reassured me that I wouldn’t have been given this opportunity if they didn’t believe in me. He reminded me that they had an opportunity to learn about my abilities from the previous summer when I was a student for them, and to trust the judgement of those who made the decision to extend me the job offer at the time. I recognized that he was right, but somewhere deep down I still had immense self-doubt. A lack of confidence. The most challenging byproduct of these feelings was the anxiety they brought along with them. I was about to change my entire life – put aside everything I thought I was going to be – for a career I wasn’t convinced I would be fit for. In the best of times I can be quite risk averse and overanalytical, so the uncertainty associated with this endeavour was uncomfortable to say the least. However, I recognized that there was an opportunity to be apart of something big, I just wasn’t certain of the contribution I could make.
~
In the two years I’ve worked full-time at Macassa, I’ve aided in a variety of BEV and business-related initiatives. I’ve overcame many fears. I helped establish analytical tools and processes for both equipment reliability and project management purposes; I performed technical studies on batteries and mine infrastructure; I helped manage a team of electricians; I was relied on to communicate both technical & business issues to senior management; I provided technical insight when troubleshooting pieces of equipment; I’ve repaired battery equipment and realized the value of using my hands. I came to Macassa too shy to ask questions and apologizing for my inability to properly articulate my thoughts. Since then, I’ve had the opportunity to stand in front of and address rooms full of people – people who look nothing like me.
Through these experiences, I’ve become the type of person that I have sought after for my entire life. What is astonishing about becoming this person is that I never envisioned myself to be this person – What I “sought” was to surround myself with people like this instead. This person is intelligent, confident, articulate, has agency, is trusted to make a big decisions, is respected, and has a substantial impact within the things they participate in. I wanted to learn from this type of person and be guided by them because they would always know what to do. I never felt that I could be this type of way because it is quite scary to have this sort of responsibility. I think I also liked the security of surrounding myself with somebody who would always know what to do and placing that burden onto them rather than myself – because I certainly didn’t feel like I would always know what to do. I came to Macassa to find people like this. Turns out – I did find this person, somewhere 6000 feet below the ground and surrounded by nobody and nothing but walls of gold; I found myself. Through my experience at Macassa, I became this person.
It is difficult to not become emotional while recalling that day driving home from Starbucks. If I take a moment to think of what I’ve done over the past two years, how much I’ve learned, and all the ways in which I’ve grown, it is disappointing to me that I ever felt such doubts about myself. I was so scared. It’s laughable. I want to grab 2020 Haley by the shoulders and shake her and tell her that the only thing that has ever gotten in her way has been herself – anything else is auxiliary and has been solvable. The silly thing is that I was not entirely wrong; I indeed didn’t know anything when I started here, but that wasn’t what actually mattered. That was not something to worry about. Management knew I didn’t know anything about the mining industry. What makes me valuable isn’t my ability to just know things – nobody just knows things by default. What makes me valuable is my ability to learn them. So, what comes next?
~ California, May 2017 ~
My first role in the mining industry came about when I was 19. I had been hired as a summer R&D intern at an electric vehicle manufacturer who made vehicles for mining applications. They were (and still are) based out of California. As a physics student, this role didn’t seem profoundly intriguing to me – I initially viewed it as a means to learn about something new while making some money to fund my schooling. Despite having familial history in the mining industry, I had developed a lot of negative perceptions of it; As such, I never sought out an opportunity within it. However, I justified my internship by thinking of it as an opportunity to enact change. I came to this world to make a difference – I could do that in the mining industry too. Battery technology is viewed as the greener choice, and when compared to traditional diesel equipment it yields health benefits due to the absence of harmful emissions in underground environments. So, by approaching it from this technology perhaps I could feel positive about the contributions I would make. I was fortunate enough to begin my internship with a trip to California to visit the factory. During my visit, I was most enthralled by the planes at LAX and how much Los Angeles resembled the video game GTA 5. Although, I had some time to myself during the first few days and decided to do a deep-dive on lithium-ion batteries and associated chemistries. I learned about the economic infeasibility of recycling a particular li-ion cell chemistry (LFP), and identified that there was an opportunity to re-use retired cells from vehicles rather than disposing of them altogether. I felt passionate about potentially being apart of solving this problem. I felt passionate about learning electrochemistry and learning about cell degradation mechanisms on a scientific level. Fortunately, I had a scientific background and willingness to learn; as such, there was a place for me here.
~
Since California, I haven’t changed my mind on what I originally set out to do. I want to be apart of the mining industry in order to make a difference – whether it be technical or personal in nature. Through my time at Macassa, I’ve come to identify other opportunities by which I could satisfy this initiative. One of them being through diversity & representation. In terms of demographics – I am far from the most underrepresented in the workplace. However, there is still a large discrepancy even when considering women of all demographics, particularly when it comes to technical or supervisory positions. This had a profound impact on me. Being a young woman in a management/supervisory-adjacent role with no previous experience in the mining industry has been an isolating experience. This is actually the realm which forced my hand to become confident; I really had no choice. If I wanted to be listened to or provide input, I had to be decisive and I had to be loud. I had to absolve myself from the guilt associated with simply taking up space. If I wanted to solve problems, I needed to also have the capacity to explain to people why they were wrong. I needed to be able to communicate effectively to a room full of people, a lot of whom have never dealt with someone like me, in a position like mine, in their entire professional career. Regardless of if you’ve experienced it or not – I hope you can understand that sometimes it’s scary to be the only woman in the room. Ultimately, this is one of the reasons it has become important for me to stay in the mining industry. I hope that my presence makes it a little less scary for the other women I meet along the way.
Macassa has allowed me to better find my place in the mining industry and has instilled in me a desire to stay in it. It has afforded me the room to grow and has helped me identify ways in which I can make a difference in this world. I’ve elected to continue on my mining BEV journey which unfortunately means that I must move on; but I am doing this because it will allow me to continue on my pursuit to make positive change within the industry. I think I will look back on this period of my life and recognize that it was necessary and laid a strong foundation for everything that’s to come, even if I don’t stay in the mining industry after all. Macassa is fortunate to have the most passionate people I’ve ever met in my life, which I’ve come to learn is not a product of the mine – but rather the mine is a product of this collective passion. I have been extremely lucky to have experienced and grown within it, as it has allowed for me to discover my own passion as well: the adventures I’ve had underground have instilled me with a love for this planet that I can’t quite put into words. Just like Sudbury, and Toronto, and even Kirkland Lake – Macassa is also my home: my house of gold. I am so fortunate to have so many places where I feel safe. Onto the next.
(April 14th, 2022)
astronomine 